Rising to the Occasion
| November 3, 2010In parshas Chayei Sarah which we read last week Avraham eulogized his wife Sarah and the pasuk tells us he wept over her death. He wept for his wife who was the ultimate in human perfection and all her years were devoted to good according to Chazal. Chazal further teach us that she was even greater than Avraham Avinu in prophecy. Avraham’s sense of grief and loss was intense.
And then while still in a state of mourning and weeping “Avraham arose from beside his dead and spoke to the children of Cheis.”
We know that Avraham “arose” for the purpose of acquiring Maaras HaMachpelah as a burial place for his wife as well as for himself and the other Avos. But is the Torah only trying to tell us the physical fact that Avraham stood up? The Torah is written with extreme brevity and no word appears in it just for stylistic effect. Why then does the pasuk take the trouble to tell us that Avraham “arose from beside his dead?” It is obvious that if he wanted to speak to the children of Cheis he had to get up and go to them.
But indeed we find that this “arising” has a deep significance that needs to be addressed. That moment of “arising” marked a turning point within Avraham and reveals the greatness of this man which found expression on this very painful occasion in his life:
“Avraham Avinu stood up and dried his tears. He has to go and speak with people! And out of respect for human beings he wiped his tears washed his face and hid his sorrow away. After so much weeping he removed every trace of tears for it was not respectful toward them for him to speak to them with a tear-stained face; but instead he controlled himself and restrained his feelings speaking to them with a pleasant demeanor This is kavod habrios giving dignity to one’s fellow man” (Rebbi Yerucham of Mir on the parshah).
The pasuk is not merely emphasizing the fact that Avraham rose physically from his seat of mourning in order to go and negotiate the purchase of a burial place. There is no need to state such an obvious act. Rather the pasuk is speaking of the way he was able to pick himself up emotionally and mentally at that moment. The Torah is highlighting his ability to conquer his deep sorrow to detach himself from the pain from the bereavement and the tears.
But why? Why was it so important to vanquish his grief at that moment? Here we come to the root of Avraham’s faith in Hashem and the philosophy of life that was founded upon that faith: love of his fellow man and meticulous care for their honor no matter who they are. He didn’t forget these things even at this time of sorrow and grief. Avraham remained Avraham under every circumstance and if kavod habrios was at the foundation of his belief system then a personal tragedy did not displace it. This was Avraham’s greatness.
In his worldview those who came into contact with him didn’t have to suffer because he was steeped in mourning. Had he appeared before the children of Cheis with a face of mourning and sorrow they would feel uncomfortable. The atmosphere at the meeting would be gloomy and that would be an offense against the concept of honoring one’s fellow man. And so “Avraham arose.” He stood up and shook off his mourning in order to honor HaKadosh Baruch Hu’s creatures who were also made in the image of G-d.
What a huge gap there is between Avraham Avinu and the average person today who brings his whole bag of troubles with him to work to a social gathering and needless to say to his home. In an office for example every employee can tell when something unpleasant has happened in their boss’s private life because his mood affects the whole atmosphere of the workplace and everyone around him is forced to be a participant in his feelings. But by Avraham’s standards this sort of behavior is a serious offense against the concept of loving and honoring one’s fellow man.
Scripture is highlighting the personality of Avraham from this shining angle when our first patriarch withstood the test of love for his fellow man at a time when people in general even fine people tend to be oblivious to this concept. Avraham bequeathed us a legacy of true greatness – revealed in a seemingly tangential action that might have gone unnoticed. Making sure he didn’t cause discomfort to some merchants from whom he was purcharsing a parcel of land he suppressed his sorrow over the death of his nearest and dearest.
Avraham passed the test. At the time when it was least expected he displayed love and honor for his fellow man at its best. He arose from beside his dead. He dried his tears. He cast a pleasant happy mood over everyone around him and in this spirit he conducted his dealings with Efron the Hittite for the purchase of the burial site he desired.
Now this action didn’t go unnoticed. The children of Cheis the people in control of the land of Canaan appreciated this. They recognized who Avraham Avinu was. While negotiating the sale with him they addressed him in this manner: “A prince of G-d are you among us.”
Chazal say that the peoples of the region accepted Avraham’s spiritual authority over them but it went even further than that. The description “prince of G-d” wasn’t just an honorary title without practical application. Avraham was the Ivri the man who believed in one G-d as opposed to their idolatry the man who preached concepts of morality and kindness that were foreign to their culture and nevertheless they venerated him. Although he was a foreigner a stranger come from a distant land who was even differentiated from them physically due to his bris milah they bowed their heads before this mighty personage.
This is an indication of Avraham’s all-encompassing influence as human nature doesn’t like to grant equal status to someone who is totally different. The ruling majority of any country naturally tries to supress the other ethnic groups living among them and they certainly would never put an outsider in a position of authority over them. Hasn’t the Jew as a general rule always been marginalized excluded from the family of nations? And even within our nation do we see one ethnic community being really supportive of another?
Yet Avraham the Ivri Avraham the Jew merited such a status a status that teaches several basic things about the essence of the true faith and the obligations of a Jew.
These ideas are clarified by the Netziv of Volozhin in his commentary on the Torah the Ha’amek Davar:
The pasuk in Yehoshua (10:13) says “Is this not written in the book of Yashar” and the Midrash explains “This is the book of Avraham Yitzchak and Yaakov who are called yesharim” (upright). The Netziv writes “For HaKadosh Baruch Hu does not tolerate tzaddikim who are not upright but insists that they go on the straight path even in worldly matters and not behave with crookedness… because this brings destruction to the world and ruin to civilization.
“This was a praiseworthy quality of the Avos that besides being righteous pious and showing love for Hashem to the greatest extent possible they were also upright. In other words they acted with love toward the nations of the world even if those nations engaged in repulsive idol worship. The Avos were concerned for their welfare for this is the upholding of creation as we see in the way Avraham exerted himself to pray for Sedom although he despised their king exceedingly for his wickedness… And regarding this HaKadosh Baruch Hu said to Avraham ‘You have loved righteousness and hated wickedness — you loved justifying my creatures and hated condemning them.’ And it is because of this that Avraham is considered as the ‘father of many nations ’ for even if the son does not go on the path of straightness nevertheless the father seeks his welfare and benefit.”
We learn from the above that the Torah requires us to act with tolerance love and respect toward others whoever they may be Jew and gentile alike. As descendants of Avraham it is incumbent on us to know how to fight the false concepts of idolatry and materialism but without ostracizing the person himself who is influenced by these concepts.
We often hear the idea that mitzvah observance itself causes the Torah-observant Jew to be excluded estranged and hated by the nations of the world. But Avrahan Avinu’s status shows us that this is not so. Although he was the only person in the land who believed in the one eternal G-d he won exceptional honor and the entire world at that time accorded him the status of “father of many nations.” For true faith together with full observance of the mitzvos in a spirit of absolute uprightness like the uprightness of Avraham Avinu shines its brilliant light even on those who are far from the ways of Judaism. Of such a person Scripture says “When Hashem is pleased with a man’s ways even his enemies will make peace with him” (Mishlei 15:6).
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