"Why did you assume there was any escape, all I said was disappearance!”
he deliveryman was brought into the orphanage cellar and told to sit on a short, wooden chair. The lady in black and the priest made sure the door to the cellar was locked before proceeding with their interrogation.
“Before we begin this interrogation — and you know good and well what it’s all about — I need to begin by getting something off of my mind….”
The priest stepped forward menacingly and the vegetable seller swallowed nervously.
“The last four shipments of your carrots were absolutely horrible! Carrots are supposed to be hard and crunchy, not soft and mushy!”
The man blinked in confusion.
“Apology accepted, as long as moving forward your carrots taste the way they’re supposed to!”
“You have my word.”
“Good, good. I just needed to take care of that important issue. You know how disgusting it is to eat a rotten carrot, don’t you?”
“I don’t eat the produce I sell, so actually no, I don’t…”
The lady in black growled angrily at the priest.
“Enough chitchat about your silly carrots! Do you think we have time to sit around discussing your food preferences? There are more pressing issues at hand! This man may very well be an accomplice in the child’s disappearance!”
“So that’s what this is all about? I can tell you right now: I never helped any girl from the orphanage escape.”
“How did you know I was talking about a girl?
“Oh, I-I j-just guessed, because, um, this is a g-girl’s orphanage, after all.”
“You’re a stammering mess already, aren’t you? And why did you assume there was any escape, all I said was disappearance!”
“Another lucky guess, that’s all…”
“You’re a liar! Look at his face, he’s sweating profusely and his cheeks are redder than a tomato!”
“You’re right, Eva! He’s the one who helped her and there’s no doubt about that! Also, it’s a good thing you mentioned tomatoes. The tomatoes he’s been delivering have also been disgusting lately. Why would I want worms with my chicken sandwich? They don’t taste very good, do they?”
Eva rolled her eyes.
“Would you just stop. Enough with the food talk. Now back to the interrogation. Let’s head over to the church and alert the authorities that this man was an accomplice in helping a poor, misguided Christian child escape into the dangerous, dirty hands of the Jews!”
“I’ll go right now and tell them! But I don’t want to stick around to see the punishment they’re going to inflict on this man. I can’t watch on a full stomach….”
“Stop! STOP! Okay, I’ll tell you everything, just don’t tell the church."
(Excerpted from Mishpacha Jr., Issue 795)
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