| Musings |

Coached to Clarity   

         I have lots of help from lots of coaches — but they all disagree


the end of the season, and my home organization coach says it’s time to declutter the closets and throw out as much as I can. But my money coach told me to keep all the clothing so I can have hand-me-downs for the younger kids. Sigh.

My time management coach says to use fast food options as a time saver, so I can use the time on more important tasks. My health coach says fast food options aren’t worth the harm they cause my body.

My health coach then told me to be extra vigilant about what I eat on Shabbos, not to mindlessly overeat. My self-care coach tells me to indulge myself on Shabbos, to let go, and relax about eating healthy eating.

My self-care coach also says to go on a date night with my husband once a week. But the time management coach says to cut out of my schedule anything that’s not urgently necessary.

She also advised going to sleep early, as that would boost my productivity. But my parenting coach says not to rush bedtime because it’s an opportunity to connect with my kids. Of course, my home organization coach also had what to say. She said that nighttime is a good time to declutter and get housework done.

My rebbetzin says it’s okay if I never daven Minchah. My parenting coach tells me that I am my kids’ role model for ruchniyus, and what kind of role model doesn’t at least try to daven Minchah?

My rebbetzin also cautioned me to make sure to check my rice for bugs. The time management coach told me to just buy the pre-checked kind. But my money coach wasn’t happy because pre-checked grains are more expensive and encouraged me to stop buying them so I can save on groceries.

She also said that not eating out or getting ice cream will help me save money. But my marriage coach said a couple should make sure to have date night out of the house often. (So where would that be, exactly — at the gas station?)

Additionally, the marriage coach said to connect with my spouse by doing activities that we’re each good at together. Well, I’m good at writing, and my writing coach told me to make sure I take time alone to sit and write. (Does it still count if hubby sits and watches me write?)

My self-esteem coach says I’d do well to spend my free time in social settings where I feel confident. (Insert friend dates.)

But my parenting coach says to make sure to spend one-on-one quality time with each of my kids. Not to mention the sleep training coach who says I need to block out nights for teaching baby how to sleep through the night. Where does that leave a time slot for friends, oh dear time management coach?

I love all of my coaches. I need their advice and I rely on it heavily. Life is confusing; knowing what to do next is always a challenge.

Maybe one day I’ll be able to self-coach. But until then, I’ll have to make a chart to keep track of what I’m supposed to be doing.

My coaches teach me so much, and I’m so lucky that their guidance gives me clarity.


(Originally featured in Family First, Issue 796)

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