| A Heaping Scoop |

A Heaping Spoof

One line recipe:

Last-Minute Dinner

Procrastinate on making dinner plans until 5:15 p.m. Look at the clock in panic, stress, and bake fish sticks. Enjoy teenage grumbles. Remind them that they are fully capable of making their own dinner once in a while. So easy!

Yenta Q (Staff Room):

I am a mother of an eight-, seven-, six-, five-, four-, three-, two-, and one-year-old, and I struggle to find a dinner that will satisfy all their macro- and micronutrient needs and still be something they’re excited to eat. (My newborn’s nutrition is not yet a source of stress, baruch Hashem.) Any suggestions?

If you’re looking for a dinner all kids eat, you have got to try cereal and milk. It’s fortified! There are vitamins!

Technique Q:

How do I get my food to look more like the pictures in Family Table? My husband always eyes them and nudges me to make the recipes.

Your recipes will look exactly like magazine recipes if you follow the following instructions: Clear a day’s schedule. Hire a food stylist to source and shop for props that work the vibe you’re looking for. Hire an additional person to cook the food, and keep the elements of each recipe separate until plating in individually labeled containers. Get out your tweezers, Q-tips, oil, heating elements, flame throwers, toolbox, and do not forget microgreens. So simple!

Reader Feedback:

I’m in the middle of making an FT pepper steak recipe, and I don’t like it. How should I have known it was spicy? Hot sauce doesn’t always make things spicy. Could you please refund my cost of ingredients?

Product review: 

I recently tried cilantro for the 19th time, and update! I still don’t like it.

FT, help me!

My sister said she really likes that chicken she made a little while ago from Family Table. You know which one? The chicken… with the sauce. Maybe with ketchup in it? Can I have the recipe?

(Answer: Confused silence.)

Halacha:

I accidentally used a fleishig spoon that I’d just served cholent to my kids to cut away the corner of my potato kugel for myself. I didn’t realize I was using a fleishig spoon, but now I’m really hoping I can still have my afternoon coffee. Is there any chance I’m not fleishigs?

A: The easiest way would be for you to marry a Dutchman and wait an hour. Otherwise, it’s 2021. Nondairy milk alternatives abound.

-Answered by FT Staff

(Originally featured in Family Table, Issue 732)

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