You want to talk reason when it comes to milk? Good luck with that

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here are five famous stages of grief.

There are four famous stages of sleep.

There are four famous stages of a cold.

And as of today, there are five famous stages of milk. The idea may have been around before, but this breakdown is all mine.

Let us begin.

Stage One is when the milk is at its freshest, right when it comes out of the cow. Have I ever drunk such milk? Well, no, but I’ve seen pictures, and it sure does look frothy and creamy.

Stage Two is where I jump in.

Stage Two is when the grocery store workers put the bottles of milk on the shelves and you’re lucky enough to snag one immediately. (If you hang around a lot at grocery stores, like I do, this can happen.) You place the milk reverently into your cart, glad that you have such a fresh and healthy drink with which to nourish your family. When your kids spot the milk in the fridge a few hours later, they are reassured by the due date and think nothing of preparing themselves a bowl of cereal and milk.