Join The Conversation With Mishpacha's Weekly Newsletter



Best Friends Forever: The Implications and the Impact

Riva Pomerantz

Way back in kindergarten, we first discovered the concept of a best friend. As we grew, the definition shifted and changed, but the craving for companionship never diminished. How do married women define “best friend”? Does friendship harm or enhance their marriage? What’s the potential? What are the pitfalls? A fascinating exploration of friendship and its interplay with marriage.

Wednesday, November 03, 2010

Friendship is everywhere we look, an aromatic perfume that permeates every crevice of life with richness and meaning. There is friendship on that street corner, where two girls, heads together, whisper secrets. There is friendship in that playground where a group shares snacks and chats about an upcoming test. The women on the park bench are enveloped in the robust cloak of friendship as they compare babies’ feeding schedules and Shabbos menus. In the bungalow colony, at the supermarket, and in the retirement home, laughter rings out and sober confidences are acknowledged. No doubt about it: Friendship is irrevocably knitted into the very fabric of existence.

In early elementary school, friendship is pretty straightforward: we play, we fight, we make up, we save each other seats on the bus. As high school beckons, identities develop, homework and tests pile up, and fragile emotions become more brittle, friendship escalates to a different realm, becoming at once confusing and all-important. But even the challenging teenage years are no match for the new dimensions that marriage and child-raising bring to friendship. Now, even the best of friends are faced with a fresh interloper — a husband and, G-d willing, a family, potentially throwing the whole equation off balance.

How do busy wives and mothers manage close friendships? Do they invest time and energy into rearranging their schedules to accommodate friends, or do they opt, instead, to shelve deep friendships for a later date, when the nest is emptier? What are the payoffs at either end of the spectrum? In this journey to the center of female friendship, facilitated by women across the globe, the responses and approaches vary, but the consensus does not. Women of all ages and stages constantly ponder friendship, whether it’s a struggle or a salvation. And often the same friendship provides both. Simultaneously!

 

To read the rest of this story, please buy this issue of Mishpacha or sign up for a weekly subscription.

Share this page with a friend. Fill in the information below, and we'll email your friend a link to this page on your behalf.

Your name
Your email address
You friend's name
Your friend's email address
Please type the characters you see in the image into the box provided.
CAPTCHA
Message


MM217
 
The Fortunes of War
Rabbi Moshe Grylak We’re still feeling the fallout of the First World War
Some Lessons, But Few Portents
Yonoson Rosenblum What the midterms tell us about 2020
Vote of Confidence
Eyan Kobre Why I tuned in to the liberal radio station
5 out of 10
Rabbi Dovid Bashevkin Top 5 Moments of the Kinus
Day in the Life
Rachel Bachrach Chaim White of KC Kosher Co-op
When Less is More
Rabbi Ron Yitzchok Eisenman How a good edit enhances a manuscript
It’s My Job
Jacob L. Freedman “Will you force me to take meds?”
They’re Still Playing My Song?
Riki Goldstein Yitzy Bald’s Yerav Na
Yisroel Werdyger Can’t Stop Singing
Riki Goldstein Ahrele Samet’s Loi Luni
Double Chords of Hope
Riki Goldstein You never know how far your music can go
Will Dedi Have the Last Laugh?
Dovid N. Golding Dedi and Ding go way back
Battle of the Budge
Faigy Peritzman Using stubbornness to grow in ruchniyus
The Challenging Child
Sarah Chana Radcliffe Strategies for raising the difficult child
Bucking the Trend
Sara Eisemann If I skip sem, will I get a good shidduch?
The Musician: Part 1
D. Himy, M.S. CCC-SLP and Zivia Reischer "If she can't read she'll be handicapped for life!"